As the future queens gazed in horror at their pictures in the Limerick Leader they knew something had to be done. Red alert was declared. Anyone looking out from the scaffolding on the rubber chicken factory where repairs were being done after an accidental fire would have seen and heard mopeds roaring into the distance. Shocked pedestrians swore that tiny green men were riding them. Some
believed it was Martians. Others (especially those just out of the pub) decided that they had had one too many so they went back and got really legless. The mopeds stopped outside every corner store, supermarket and newsagents in the town. The proprietors were found knocked out cold, with rather charred and melted rubber chickens lying beside them. When a search was made of the shops, all the Limerick Leader's had been slashed beyond recognition. Tiny slashes of the letter F were also found at all the outlets. The vandals had obviously been watching too much Zorro.
The planet was in turmoil. Many believed that the world was being taken over. They weren't far wrong. But the people of the Earth still had one faint hope. Two obscure Kings had arisen. Oh yeah, and a duke. One day, they came out of their bunker twenty floors below sea level and heard the news of the newspaper incident. They soon guessed that the co-majesties were beginning their conquest. They travelled to the ends of the Earth in search of a legible copy of the Limerick Leader. They searched the four corners of the World to no avail, suffering many hardships and fighting many battles for the good of mankind, as they perceived it. But the frogs had done their job well.
The two kings (and the duke) returned disconsolately to their homes after many years of fruitless searching to find that there was a copy of that very Limerick Leader lying on King Too's kitchen table. A quick glance told them the reason why the papers had been destroyed and after much laughter and mirth they began to plan their opposition. King Too was eager, but King One was somewhat reluctant.
They were soon prepared. As they marched through the streets with their guitars they gathered a small following with their mockeries of Tenacious D songs that they had perfected on their travels. They went to McDonalds, the stronghold of the co-majesties. Just outside the building they saw coming towards them two women on two jet-black horses (riding side-saddle, of course). As they neared, they recognised them as the co-majesties. Her co-majesty Meghan leapt gracefully off Pink, her noble steed, and sat down at her grand piano that had been brought by her faithful frogs. Her co-majesty Kim remained on her horse with her guitar, as she had sustained a broken leg in a fall out of a tree some days previously. The two sides faced each other and they began to play.
Days later the battle was still raging. It seemed like it would never end. Eventually both sides called a truce, as they were all about to collapse from exhaustion. The five of them went into McDonald's and ordered six mega Macs. Her co-majesty Meghan was the first to speak. She stood up and said: “Most worthy adversaries, we have not come across such a powerful opposition before. We have much respect for you. Since you are obviously so powerful, we shall not utter The Deplorable Word*, and we shall hold negotiations with you. By the way, I'm still starving. Is anyone going to eat the sixth mega Mac?” But it had already been eaten.
Her co-majesty Meghan ordered another meal and while she was eating Her co-majesty Kim said: “As you have fought us with such determination you must have some major goal in mind. Tell us what it is, and we shall come to a compromise.”
The two kings (and the duke) looked at one another. Eventually King Too spoke up: “Is this meal on you guys? Because if it is could we get another mega Mac?”
*Lime