Ever fantasised about being a Co~Majesty? Well, even if you haven't, the names you entered into the box previously have been placed in Her Co~Majesty Kim's The Prequel below. Have fun reading!
was suddenly enveloped by a black darkness, and she felt some inexplicable force pull her onto the ground. She had no idea what was happening. She was about to scream, when she heard an explosion of laughter behind her. She stood up to see holding up his jacket and splitting his sides laughing. “!!!” shrieked, “Look what you did to my jeans!!!” She pointed down at a tiny speck of mud on her right knee. “Now I have to go home and change, and I only put these on this morning!” The laughter only increased. eventually managed to control himself enough to stammer “Hey , now we've got a new verse for our “ Fell Out Of A Tree” song: “ fell into some mud…”” “I hate you sooo much. Don't think you won't pay for this!” shouted back over her shoulder as she stormed off, albeit with a slight smile on her face as she remembered how ridiculous she must have looked as she plummeted to the ground from the dizzying height of one-and-a-half feet a few weeks previously. It wasn't her fault, how was she supposed to know that the wafer-thin branch with the huge crack running through it wouldn't support her weight? walked home, into her house and straight down to her room to sent her friend an e-mail: I hate so much! I feel so sorry for . Imagine having for a brother! We have to find some way of getting back at him! I know! We'll egg his house! When are you free? finished her homework while waiting for a reply. She checked her inbox again before she ate her dinner. She was surprised to find one there from . Probably just slagging me off, she thought. She opened it: What's this about egging my house? gasped. How did know? Surely wouldn't have told him, and she certainly didn't tell him…. unless…no, it was impossible! speedily opened her sent folder. Her fears were realised. She had sent the e-mail to the wrong person. She couldn't believe it. Well, actually, she could. It was something only she would be capable of doing. They would just have to think of something else to do to . turned off her computer and began to think. What would really annoy ? They could always just hire a hit man to kill him. She would ask for her opinion the next day. At assembly the next morning and were deeply discussing what action should be taken. Lemonocity songs were clearly audible in the background, as usual. “Who would we get to kill him, though?” asked her friend. slowly scanned the room. Her eyes fell on . He was screaming at and to shut up singing. looked back at . seemed uncertain. “? Are you sure that's a good idea? I would sooner trust an army of frogs than .” “ An army of frogs? Come on, ! Of course I'm sure is a good idea. Besides, no-one else in our year would….” stopped short. She saw something flying towards her out of the corner of her eye. She tried to jump out of the way but she was too late. 's highlighter left a huge blue mark across her face. Obviously and had refused to shut up, so he took his anger out on the nearest person to him. He certainly looked a lot happier. He was in hysterics. glared at him angrily for a few seconds and then turned back to . “Frogs it is. But we need weapons and someone to train the frogs in.” had the answer to that. “Action Man is the perfect size. He can supply all the weapons and he can train them.” , however, disagreed. “No, not Action Man. We should get Dr. X instead. He would have no qualms about training hit frogs.” was satisfied with this. The two were about to discuss their plans in further detail, but the bell rang, putting a temporary hold on the talks. That evening, after school, and resumed their conversation: “You know , I was thinking, if we are going to go to all the trouble of training an army of frogs, we might as well take over the World in the process. We shall become the co-majesties of the Universe! Henceforward, you shall be known as: Her Co-Majesty , Empress of Shannon, Ruler of all the Green and Gold Universe, Defender of the Soup, Plucker of the Lute (also known as the Guitar), Friend of all those Mugless and those lacking Sufficient Barbeque Facilities, and I shall be known as: Her co-majesty , General of the Army of the United Irish Canadian Toilets, Hearalder of Bad News and Tasty Mushrooms, Poker of the White Whotsits that make noise when you sit on them (a.k.a. Piano Keys), Benefactress of Frogs and Ruler of All Things Blue. What do you think?” asked . “That totally rocks! You really have a knack for making up names! Now we have those,” said, “But we shall need weapons for ourselves. Any ideas?” looked thoughtful. “I don't know. I'll talk to Dr. X this evening and see what he thinks. I'll e-mail you.” That night, and continued to plan their conquest of the World via the Internet: Hey ! here! I was talking to Dr. X. How about rubber chickens? He found this one frog that has developed a version ten times more lethal than the leading brand, and they're pretty compact too. Dr. X has recruited this frog as head of R&D. They are working on an all-new laser gun as well. was thrilled with the thought of being able to use rubber chickens as lethal as was suggested in 's e-mail. It seems that it never occurred to either co-majesty that the laser guns would, in all probability, be much more compact and several times more lethal. But girls will be girls. answered immediately: Now that's what I call a weapon! We are now almost totally prepared to take over the World in the pursuit of our ultimate goal…. Which was what again? replied straight back: Uh, I can't remember. How about the abolition of all banana-flavoured ice cream, nuts, mangos, dust mite and penicillin? That way we won't be allergic to anything! The two girls had been so intently planning their conquest that they quite forgot that their ultimate goal was 's extermination (as only girls can do). , in fact, decided that she would ask to form an alliance with her and . She thought he would agree, even if only so he could eliminate penicillin, which he was allergic to. The two co-majesties asked him the next day. “Hey !” shouted across the assembly room, “How would you like to help me and in our conquest of the World, in the process of abolishing banana-flavoured ice cream, nuts, mangos, fish, dust mite and penicillin? Come on, we know you want your revenge on penicillin!” His reply, however, was not as the two co-majesties had predicted. “What! You're abolishing ice cream! What are you on?! There is no way I'm ever going to do that, you spanners! , tell them they're spanners.” , who prior to this had been laughing at the ridiculous conversation, was not entirely happy about being dragged into the argument. “Uh…” “You're going to regret not doing as we request, .” interrupted, “, tell that he's going to regret not joining me and .” was getting increasingly uncomfortable with the entire discussion. He couldn't think of what to say, but all three were staring at him. Why do I get into these situations, he thought. But I have to say something. Well, in times like this I guess there is only one thing I can say. “ Uh…you're all lemons.” It did not go down very well, but to his infinite relief, the bell rang just then, putting an end to the row. As and left the assembly room, turned and shouted at . “OK, fine! Have it your way. But you will regret your decision.” The two girls stormed out of the assembly room, slamming the doors behind them. Their exit, however, lost some of its effect, as forgot her schoolbag and had to re-enter to retrieve it. She marched out again, but the sound of and 's laughter followed her down the corridor. That evening, once had cooled down, she sent an e-mail regarding a truce that she and had agreed would be fair: As and I are merciful monarchs, we have decided to forgive you once more, and we shall offer you a truce: You may leave the planet along with all the food that we wish to abolish. You will travel to the planet Mercury, and if you have not been killed by the Penicillin by then you shall become our ambassador for the planet. did not have to wait long before she received a reply from : I, Vladimir, the Phenominal Cosmic King of Wisdom, refuse your compromise, and will always oppose you. smirked as she read the e-mail. She felt no small amount of satisfaction at being able to reply: Well, you could have refused with at least a shred of dignity if you had succeeded in spelling your name correctly. The fact that you were supposed to be the king of wisdom didn't help much either. And don't say that you'll oppose someone if you don't have an army. This reply stung in no small way. did not have to wait long for his response: OK fine. I, Vladimir, the P-H-E-N-O-M-E-N-A-L Csmic King of Wisdom refuse your compromise. And I have the P-H-E-N-O-M-E-N-A-L King of Strength () on my side. Oh, and Duke too (Andrew). read the e-mail with a sympathetic smile on her face. He had managed to spell “cosmic” wrong. She was, however, moved to thought at the fact that had both and his brother helping him (or not helping him), whereas she only had . They needed a Duchess, someone who hated , someone whom would not be able to harm… “!” shouted as she struggled through the mass of first years in school the next day, trying to catch up with 's younger sibling. turned around. staggered up breathlessly to her, exhausted from battling her way through the throngs of 's fellow first year students. “, how would you like to be a Duchess? You can help me and take over the World, and oppose your brother, who is our arch-nemesis. You're perfect because you hate him, your Mum won't let hurt you (seriously, anyway), Andrew won't hurt you (hint, hint) and because you are totally, utterly, completely, entirely and absolutely trustworthy.” That evening on the way home from school, the two co-majesties and the duchess were discussing their conquest of the Universe. had some interesting news. “Dr. X has found a species of bat that can detect subliminal messages and can be trained to work as a spy. I think they sound pretty handy.” “Yeah, they could really prove useful.” said, “By the way, how are our rubber chickens coming along?” coughed, looked down at her shoes, and mumbled, “Uh… well, ya see, I was testing that laser gun that our frogs just finished developing, and I sort of, like, didn't expect that the shooting range would extend to fifty metres, and, uh, that's when the factory kind of, well, exploded.” and looked at each other. Then said, “Well, I suppose it doesn't matter much, unless we need to make war within the next few weeks, in which case our army shall have to make do with what they have.” They walked on together in silence. Then, , who had been looking thoughtful for the past few moments, spoke. “Where will we have our stronghold? We need somewhere that we can control the planet and all our subjects from with ease.” “McDonald's!” and said in unison. “Speaking of which…” turned abruptly and started walking in the direction of the local McDonald's outlet. and followed without any objections. The three had to make a short detour through the town centre, so that could buy jelly tots. While was making her purchase, picked up a copy of the Limerick Leader and began leafing through the pages. She came to a section on the Arts and Heritage Festival that had been held in their school the previous week. Her eyes fell on a small picture in the middle of the page. 's eyes widened as she gaped at the picture. Her voice rose to a shriek as she called to , “! Get over here quick! It's horrible!”