I don’t know where we are in the stories so here is a kinda strange spin-off, which takes place on the planet Mercury, home planet of Kayla, the Royal DJ, yadda, yadda, yadda!
Kayla was staring at the TV screen with a blank expression. Suddenly she yelled, “For God’s sake, turn the car around the corner, don’t blow it up, you idiot!”
“Kayla, it’s only a game, calm down,” said Kim.
“Yeah, calm down before the guys hear us playing video games and try to steal the super kewalsh playstation 2/gamecube/Xbox/coolness!” said Meghan.
“Okay, but just to let ye know, the leprechauns have every entry point to this part of the castle guarded,” said Kayla.
“Do they? How cool is it that you have your own army?” said Lorna.
“Super!” said Kayla, “We can see what the guys are up to if ye like!”
“Yeah, sure, we have nothing better to do, and I’m bored!” said Kim.
“Okay, let’s see!” muttered Kayla, tapping away at the keyboard. “Just as I suspected! They’re in the kitchen making full use of their mouths and my phone! No wonder my mother hasn’t rung yet!”
“David, you want a regular chip or a large with your next meal?” asked Conor.
“Erm, I’ve already eaten twelve meals, and it’s Kayla’s money, so I’ll have the…deluxe special!” said David.
“That sounds awesome, I’ll have one too, Conor!” said Duke.
“Okay, that’ll be seven McFlurrys, all Crunchie, five cookies, seventy-five deluxe special meals, all with Coke please!”
“That will be €557.75 please!” said the McDonald’s employee at the other end of the phone.”
“Put it on our tab, to be paid for by the Royal DJ, yadda, yadda, yadda!”
“Okay! They will be there two seconds ago!”
“Got them!” said David, “Talk about fast food!” The doorbell chimed its really cool tune for, like, the fiftieth time that day. “Conor, get the door, we might get some free stuff!”
“Fine.” Conor answered the door.
“Letter for the Duchess, Lorna, and there’s stuff here too for the Royal DJ, yadda, yadda, yadda!” said the post-person.
“Why didn’t you just post them?” asked David who had just walked up to the door.
“I got bored. Anyway, have a nice day!” said the post-person, and hopped away.
“Thank you, I’ll take these,” said Tom, grabbing the mail out of Duke’s hand and disappearing with a pop!
“Strange!” said Duke, “He was blue!”
Tom arrived in Kayla’s room with the mail moments later. “Here you are ma’am!” he said, handing the mail to Kayla.
“Thanks Tom! How are Brenda and the kids? And is Maggie out of rehab yet?” asked Kayla.
“Brenda and the wee ones are grand, and Maggie’s coming oot tomorrow! Erm, would it be okay if I had the day off?”
“Yes, that’s fine. I’ll see you Saturday then, bright and early, okay?”
“Yes ma’am!” said Tom, disappearing again!
“Right, let’s see what we have got here: bill, bill, letter from Sam, bill, letter for Lorna, cool free toner, whatever that is, letter from station and a letter from…Adam?!”
“Hang on, wasn’t there a letter for me?” asked Lorna.
“Oh yeah, here.” Kayla threw the letter at Lorna.
Kayla tore open the letter from Adam. “Oh s**t!” she exclaimed.
“Kayla, give me your hand!” demanded Meghan.
“What? Here!” Kayla thrust her hand at Meghan who whacked it with a bamboo cane.
“Ouch!” screamed Kayla, “Where did you get that?” she asked, pointing at the cane.
“Oh, this? Ebay! They sell the coolest things online!” said Meghan.
“And the stupidest!” said Kim, “Did you hear about the air guitar played by Jimi Hendrix that sold for, like, three thousand euro?”
“Yeah! I heard about that,” said Kayla, “I wonder who bought it?”
“Dunno,” replied Kim.
“Ahem, guys, forgotten letter from Adam that made Kayla swear!” said Meghan.
“Oh yeah, what did it say?” asked Kim.
“That? It said:
Yo Kayla,
I’m taking over your show ass the first act of taking over the World. (“Hello! We are in Mercury!” said Meghan). It has been okayed by the station and they are giving me a five week trial run, on your air time, so all I have left to say, or write as this case may be: Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! (That was an evil laugh, if no one realised!).
Adam.
“Wait, there’s more!
P.S. Remind me to kick you in the knees during our next encounter!” Meghan read.
“Like I would do that! He must be lying. The station loves my show, it has really high ratings and brings in loads of money!” said Kayla.
“Well, what does the letter from the station say?” asked Kim.
“Erm, let’s see…” said Kayla, retrieving it from the floor. “It says that in the new schedule, my show, my new time is seven to ten. Kewl. Three hours of time! Wicked!”
“So Adam was lying!” said Kim.
“I guess so!”
The conversation was interrupted by a squeal of joy that came from Lorna.
“What’s up?” asked Kayla, “Meg, don’t even think about it!” she added, just as Meghan was about to come out with her list of things that are “up”, which include balloons and space aliens!
Oh, nothing, just got a letter from Steven!” said Lorna, sighing.
“Don’t wanna hear about it!” said Kayla, “Too much girlie stuff will over-power my brain and there will be no more room for my revolution plans! I’m outta here! See ya!”
“Bye Kayla!” said the three girls, who, as soon as Kayla left, started fighting over the letter. “What does it say?” asked Kim.
“Well, not a lot really. It just says:
Hiya Lorna,
I take it you’re in Mercury with Conor. Will be there at 17:00. See ya then!
Steven.
P.S. Adam and Tadhg are coming too!”
“Interesting,” said Kim, “What time is it now?”
“15:43 and, erm…32 seconds.” said Meghan.
“Okay, cool!” said Kim, “Loadsa time to get…”
“Those ********!” Kim was interrupted by Kayla yelling from her study. Lorna, Meghan and Kim ran into the study.
“Hand!” demanded Meghan.
“Ergh, here!” swoosh, crack, “Ouch! Again. What’s with using that effing bamboo?” asked Kayla, rubbing her hand. “Ah ah, I didn’t swear, I said effing.” she said hurriedly, moving away from Meghan.
“What made you swear anyway?” said Lorna.
“David and Conor have run up €4,000 on tabs in McDonalds all around the planet!” said Kayla, “I’m gonna kill ‘em!”
“Chillax Kayla,” said Meghan, “we have bigger things to worry about!”
“What could be bigger then a €4,000 tab I gotta a pay, when I don’t get paid ‘til next month?” said Kayla.
“Well, in Lorna’s letter from Steven…” began Kim.
“Don’t wanna know! Tom, Tom, come here!” Tom appeared beside Lorna, and Lorna jumped in shock.
“Der’s no need to be scared, lassie, I is only an Irish leprechaun, ya know!” said Tom.
“Tom, can you go downstairs and warn the three menecises (I can’t spell) in the kitchen to come up with €4,000 or I’ll make them clean this castle for the next three years!” said Kayla.
“Yes, ma’am!”
“Thanks Tom. When you have done that you can go home!”
“Thank you, ma’am!” and Tom vanished again.
“Now if you don’t mind I have a show to prepare!” Kayla said to the other girls.
“But Kayla, Steven, Tadhg and Adam are coming at five o’clock, and it is now 16:03 and 27 secs!” said Meghan.
“And what do you want me to do about it?”
“Erm…it’s Tadhg!” said Kim.
“And Adam!” added Meghan.
“Not the point I was going for but let’s take that route.” said Kim to Meghan.
“Yeah, Adam is gonna be really angry at you Kayla!” said Lorna.
“Okay, I’ll get them a guarded entry, what more can I do?” asked Kayla.
“You could…erm…well…” muttered Lorna.
“You could negotiate with him?” suggested Meghan.
“He wants to take over the World!” said Kim, “You don’t negotiate. You laugh at his stupid attempt, then kick him out of the castle.”
“I like the idea!” said Kayla, “Why are Steven and Tadhg coming?”
“It didn’t say!” said Lorna.
“Okay, you guys get ready and I’ll alert the guards.” Said Kayla.
“Aren’t you gonna change into your greeting gown?” asked Meghan.
“Erm, no!” said Kayla, “What’s the point, I gotta go to work soon!”
“Okay, we’ll see you at five. Oh, and you might wanna get some food.” Said Kim.
“Yeah, you’re right, I’m starving anyway, so I’ll alert the cook as well. Bye guys!” said Kayla, leaving the room.
At five o’clock, David, Conor and Duke were upstairs sleeping while the girls were sitting in the “hang-out” room. “So, you got your show ready?” asked Meghan.
“Yeah, I’m playing some music, but it’s mostly talking.” Replied Kayla, who had just finished writing out her running order.
“Sounds good.” Said Kim.
“Ma’am, your guests have arrived.” Said a guard who had just walked in.
“I would hardly call Adam a guest. Anyway, show them in, but keep a close eye on Adam please.” Said Kayla.
“Yes ma’am.” Said the guard and then he left. Moments later he entered the room followed by six more guards, Adam, Steven and Tadhg, five more guards, then Conor, David and Duke.
“Please state the purpose of your visit.” said the first guard.
“I have come here to speak to the Duchess Lorna, Adam has come to have a yelling competition with the Royal D.J. and Tadhg just tagged along for the fun of it.” said Steven.
“Okay, step forward and be greeted by the Co-majesties, Meghan and Kim, the Duchess Lorna and the Royal D.J., Kayla.” said the guard.
“Thank you. You may leave, but two, I still do not trust Adam!” said Kayla.
“Yes ma’am!” and the guards left.
“Well, Steven, you may talk with the Duchess, but if she wishes, some guards will be close at hand. I believe the day is warm enough for a walk on the beach. Lorna, it is up to you.”
“I won’t need the guards, but the beach sounds great!” said Lorna, and she and Steven left.
“Tadhg, you can go to the games room with Conor, David and Duke. Meghan and Kim, you can do what you wish.”
“We’ll go with the lads.” Said Kim.
“Fine. Adam, you will not get a yelling match, but a calm conversation regarding the letter you sent. Guards, can you accompany Adam and I to the study, please?”
“Certainly, ma’am!”
“Oh, and there is food in the kitchen if you want it. I shall talk to you in a while.” added Kayla, who led the way to her study.